Day 733

Two years sober! That was a bit of a ride, and to be honest, the ride never stops. So how did that happen? Overnight? A magic pill? The fact that stopping drinking alcohol is simply a piece of cake?

None of the above.

Here’s my top ten of the steps that worked for me. In no particular order (apart from step one):

1: Always putting my recovery at the top of every list.
2: Wanting to stop drinking (not just having to).
3: Accepting help (you can’t do it alone. Believe me).
4: Hard work.
5: Finding my sense of humour again, very quickly! If you can laugh, you’re alive!
6: Realising nothing is ever bad enough to use as an excuse to drink.
7: Listening. Talking is great, but listening is just as important, if not more.
8: Learning about my addiction.
9: Being selfish in my recovery. I come first. Always!
10: Always making sure step number one never changes. Ever!

All the above, and a hell of a lot more, took me three years to realise. The list is endless and you will find your own to suit you. Three years to get two years sober. It certainly didn’t happen overnight. Two lapses and two stays in rehab, and a hell of a lot of hard work. I won’t sugarcoat it for you, it was hell on earth at the beginning. I felt as if I was going insane. I was in mourning for my murdered my best friend, alcohol. The friend I believed looked after me and kept me safe, every day of my life – garbage.

But alcohol was a deceiver and a serially slow killer. A stripper of souls. A trickster, a fraud, an abuser, a scammer, a personality hacker and a rapist of the heart and mind.

But slowly, very slowly, it improved day by day.

Baby steps. And if baby steps were too hasty, I walked slower. Staying alive isn’t a race. If you want quick, there is always death. But I wouldn’t recommend it.

Even now, I’m constantly on my guard. Addiction is a slippery little sucker. It whispers to me often. It will never go away. I may be an addict, but it doesn’t mean my addiction will kill me. I have too much to do in my life now. I made myself too busy to listen to my addiction. My recovery network is huge, and I use it every day. I built it myself, bit by bit, person by person, book by book. Hope by hope.

Hope by example, saves lives. If you think you literally have nothing to live for, you’re wrong. You have hope. Somewhere. You just need to find it. It’s there. And when you find it, you can start to live again.

Baby steps + hope x hard work = A new beginning.

Find your own top ten. It’s yours. Especially designed for you, by you.

But a word of advice. Always make sure your recovery is number one, the top of every list. Because if it isn’t . . .

Stay safe everyone xx